


Her

by FlutteringPhalanges



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Deckerstar - Freeform, F/M, Jane Morningstar, Major character death - Freeform, Therapy, daddy Lucifer, single parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:04:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23831287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlutteringPhalanges/pseuds/FlutteringPhalanges
Summary: Four years after a car accident takes Chloe's life, Lucifer is left to raise their young daughter alone. One afternoon, he decides to pay Dr. Linda Martin a visit where he finally finds the strength to open up and reflect on life. *Major Character Death*
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 10
Kudos: 109





	Her

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a gif set I made on Tumblr. I changed it up a bit, but yeah. Felt like writing a Lucifer one shot to offset all of the Dracula I've been writing so here we go!

**Her**

Jane. That's the name they chose for her. Well, the name Chloe had picked out. He'd found it a little plain, somewhat unfitting for someone whose father was literally the king of the underworld himself. But it seemed right. Even though she was far more precious than any four letter word could describe. Perfect. Fragile. His daughter. Jane.

Everything was fine until the accident happened. Jane was only a few months old when Chloe, sleep deprived, went out one night in search of diapers. He'd forgotten to pick up a pack on the way home from Lux. They fought. Argued. It was such a trivial matter. When he got the call about the crash, everything around him seemed to shatter. The phone fell, cracking on the floor, and the baby cried from her crib. But he didn't seem to notice.

Lucifer hated funerals. Pitying the dead. Either they'd done well and would go to heaven, or slip into the fiery depths he once called home. No need to remember. But he stood there anyway, Jane bundled up tight, as he numbly nodded thanks to those who shared their condolences. He hated them. Hated himself. Jane cooed, but he didn't have the energy to look at her either.

Months went by. Years. The pain still ran deep within him, like raw cuts from animal claws, but he learned how to work around it. Jane had grown, now four years old. She was talking, smiling, playing like any normal child. But she looked like her. Her hair. Smile. Eyes. In her, he saw Chloe, and it burned. Lucifer fought it as best he could. For her. For Jane. For Chloe.

"Daddy?"

Lucifer eyes opened. Jane had crawled on top of his bed, peering down at him with a smile. He exhaled, sitting up. Most days, he tended to wake up on time. When he didn't, his daughter made sure that their day wasn't delayed.

"Morning," he yawned, offering a small smile. "I suppose you didn't make me a cup of coffee?"

She giggled at his joke and shook her head. "Nope," she exclaimed.

"Pity," he exclaimed, running his fingers through her messy bed hair. "Well, at least there is always breakfast. Cereal and cartoons? I do hope we haven't missed Tom and Jerry."

"Not yet," she assured him. "But we have to hurry! Come on, Daddy!"

Perhaps not the best breakfast of champions, but he didn't think Chloe would mind too much about giving their child a little extra sugar. She was a good girl, after all. Didn't cause any trouble-which came as quite a relief, seeing that she was his child.

After Chloe's death, Lucifer's involvement with the LAPD began to slip. At first he didn't realize it, but he'd begun to distance himself from anything that reminded him of Chloe. Of course he had to suffer through visits with Dan, Jane was Trixie's half sister after all. The older girl always put on a brave face. She was like her mother in that way. It was nice to know Jane had someone to look up to.

"Hurry along, Jane, it's nearly time for preschool," Lucifer called out, peering down at his watch. An anniversary gift from Chloe. Something he didn't have the heart to part with. "Aunt Maze will be picking you up today. I have some matters to attend to at Lux."

Maze had been a constant companion after the accident. She had forced herself on him-and not in a sexual sense. When he was at his lowest, it had been her who'd figuratively kick him in the ass to sober up and be there for Jane. He was lucky to have her and she loved Jane, a feeling that was reciprocated. The demon had a knack when it came to Chloe's kids. He'd never understand it.

"Backpack?" He inquired, adjusting his jacket. "Lunch?"

"Uhuh!" Jane chimed in cheerfully, whipping around to show him the pink bag with a skull patch ironed on in the middle. An accessory done by Maze. "Ready!"

He hadn't a clue about kids. The idea made his stomach crawl. When Chloe announced she was pregnant, for the first time in his life, Lucifer Morningstar felt absolutely terrified. The pregnancy itself went well, the detective's occasional hormonal outbursts a rather unpleasant side effect. When she went into labor, the overwhelming pressure of it all almost brought the Devil to his knees. But the moment he held her, gazed down upon the tiny newborn, he'd never experienced such happiness, such fear in his life. From that moment forward, he swore to protect her. His little hellion. Jane.

"Let me out," the little girl protested, struggling against her car seat restraints. "I'm stuck!"

"Hang on, hang on," Lucifer exhaled, rolling his eyes. "What's the bloody rush for?"

"I wanna sit on the bean bag," she explained hastily, nearly falling out when Lucifer unclipped her. "Before Jaime Dunn does."

Jaime Dunn. Of course. Father a wealthy banker. Mother a trophy wife. Their son would surely grow up into a prick. Not someone he wanted his child around. But Chloe had picked this school. Even before Jane was born the detective insisted on preparing ahead. Who was he to deny her of her wish? He owed her plenty.

"Hug and kiss," he said, bending down to wrap his arms around Jane. "And perhaps, if you are so inclined, maybe slide a worm down Jaime's shirt?" Lucifer winked, his daughter's smile broadening. "But don't get caught."

"Be stealthy," she declared. "Like Aunt Maze!"

"Exactly," he smirked. "Clever girl."

"Bye, Daddy," Jane waved, heading towards the school's entrance. "I love you!"

"I love you too," his smile began to falter, eyes watching as the doors closed. "More than you know."

Dr. Linda Martin had tried from the moment she learned of Chloe's death to help Lucifer. Try to get through the thick, muddy waters that was his depression. He had been low, but after losing her, he'd sunken to the deepest parts of Hell. It was a dark place. His mind. And the thought of carrying on seemed so difficult. But then there was Jane. This tiny piece of his beloved he still clung onto. The only hope in an empty existence.

"It's good to see you, Lucifer," the doctor smiled as he took his regular seat on the couch. "It's been awhile."

"I suppose it has," he admitted.

"How's Jane?" She inquired, leaning forward. "Amenadiel was just talking about her the other day. Dan had shown him some pictures on his phone of Trixie and her playing?"

"So my brother has sunken to the level of finding companionship with Detective Douche," Lucifer scoffed. "Not a surprise."

"We miss you, you know," Linda said, her expression sympathetic. "We all do. Lucifer, it's been quite a long time. I know things are still hard…"

"Don't," he shook his head. "Don't start. All of you keep thinking that you know. You don't."

The therapist was silent for a moment. "How's your relationship with Jane?"

Lucifer's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean? She's my child. I do fatherly things with her. With lack of experience and coming from the family that I did, I'm assuming things are rather bloody peachy."

On the offense. That's how he always got when the subject was broached. He didn't mean it usually. Even after four years it was still sensitive. Lucifer was doing his best. At least he tried to. What would Chloe think if she saw him now? Would her love still stand?

"Fine," he said quietly. "We eat breakfast together, watch cartoons. She likes to finger paint, gets the stuff bloody everywhere. I read to her each night, well, I try to. Jane likes the park, the swings. The other day she saw a toad. Even picked it up."

Linda nodded thoughtfully. "And how are you doing, Lucifer?"

He stiffened visible, fingers digging into his palms. Yet another subject he didn't wish to discuss. His feelings. Thoughts. He preferred to push everything back. Far into the depths of his mind. But they'd reappear in his dreams. Sometimes haunting him. Nightmares. He'd wake up in a cold sweat and look over half expecting Chloe to be there lying fast asleep by his side. She never was.

"Fine," he lied. "Actually, I think I need to go, I…"

"Lucifer," Linda's voice was firmer, making the man stop in his tracks. "How are you?"

"I see her," he mumbled.

"Who?" Linda asked softly. "Who do you see?"

"Chloe," he finally answered. "In Jane. Whenever I look at her, I see Chloe. Her eyes. Her face. Her hair. The way she smiles at me. Sometimes I can't even bear it, I have to force myself to look at her. My own child. It's like someone is squeezing my bloody heart."

"But you love her," Linda ventured.

"Of course I bloody do," he nearly snapped. "More than anything. She's all I have of Chloe. She's my daughter. I'd do anything for her." Lucifer sighed, fighting back tears. "But I don't deserve her. It should've been me that night, not Chloe."

"It wasn't your fault-"

"But it was," Lucifer countered, sucking in a sharp breath. "I forgot the diapers and we got into some silly, bloody argument and I let her go out. I didn't offer to do it. It should be Chloe raising Jane, not me."

"But you are raising her," the therapist said gently, reaching forward to rest a hand on Lucifer's knee. "And if Chloe was here, she'd be so proud."

"I miss her," he swallowed hard, eyes watering. "And the more I try to stop, the more I do. I just want the pain to go away." He paused, recollecting himself. "But I look at Jane and realize that I have to be here for her. It's what Chloe would want. I'd do anything for Chloe. For Jane."

"I know," Linda smiled. "Jane couldn't ask for a better father."

Sometimes he pulled late nights at Lux-either he had things to do, or needed to clear his mind. When he arrived home, greeting Maze who sat drinking a cocktail in the kitchen, he slipped his shoes off and entered Jane's room. Through the mess of stuffed animals, he could just make out a small, sleeping figure huddled under the covers. He smiled softly, quietly making his way over. Fast asleep, he gently moved back a lock of her hair.

"I'm sorry I got home so late," he whispered. "I'll make it up to you. Ice cream for breakfast." He chuckled softly at the thought of Chloe's reaction to that. "Goodnight," Lucifer murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I love you."

Forever and always.

**Author's Note:**

> Normally, I don't write major character deaths, but again, I created a gif set on my Tumblr and people were interested. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Stay safe and healthy! -Jen


End file.
